Wednesday, April 25, 2018
Confidence is the positive attitude of an individual that enables to develop a positive judgment both self and environment or situation faces. Where a person feels competent, confident, capable, and believes that they can be supported by actual experience, potential, achievements, and expectations.
Confidence is one of the most important aspects of personality in human life. Confident people believe in their own abilities and have realistic expectations, even when their expectations do not materialize they remain positive-minded and can accept it.
Confidence can be interpreted as a belief in self-sufficiency that is adequate and realizes the ability possessed can be utilized appropriately. Psychologist W. H.Miskell in 1939 has defined the meaning of confidence in his book "Self-confidence is the belief in self-sufficiency that is adequate and aware of the ability possessed, and can utilize it appropriately." No other than the famous Maslow ultra-psychologist who said that "Self-confidence is the basic capital for the development of the self-actuality.
Confidence comes from the Latin fidere which means to believe. In other words, self-confidence is the ability to trust your own ability, so dare to take on a challenge, be able to handle difficult situations to be responsible for the decisions you have taken. In short, confidence is what you feel and think about yourself.
Having a low self-confidence can trigger the emergence of shy characters, anxiety while socializing to other impacts that may be able to affect your relationship with social life and your career development. Low self-esteem can even increase your risk of mental health disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder.
The pattern of brain activity is able to provide a picture of one's confidence. In other words, manipulating certain brain activities can increase the level of confidence you have.
Research conducted by Doctor Aurelio Cortese uses a process known as a combination of artificial intelligence with brain scanning technology or decoded neurofeedback, to 17 participants. Where each participant is able to increase the level of confidence in those detected in the brain scanner, researchers will overwrite the memory of the moment by giving a gift or something positive.
1. Self-concept
The definition of self-concept is about how you judge or summarize yourself as a whole, such as how you portray yourself, or you conceive yourself as a whole.
2. Self-esteem
Self-esteem is about how far you have positive feelings for yourself. Do you feel something positive coming from yourself or not.
3. Self-efficacy
Self-efficacy is about the extent to which you are confident in doing a particular task or problem. Self-efficacy can also be defined as the extent to which your ability to handle certain problems.
4. Self-confidence
Self-confidence is about the extent to which you are confident about your judgment of your own ability and the extent to which you feel the rightness to be successful. Self-confidence is a combination of self-esteem and self-efficacy.
Meanwhile, according to Lindenfield (1997), confidence is divided into two types, namely inner confidence and self-confidence born.
1. Inner confidence
Inner confidence is a type of self-assurance assumes that the individual is in good condition. There are four main characteristics possessed by people who have inner confidence:
Loving their self. A confident person will love their self. They also care about their behavior and daily lifestyle.
Self-conscious. In addition to self-confidence, the person is also self-conscious. They not only reflect, but also think about their feelings, thoughts, and behavior on a regular basis. They are also curious and always want to know how other people's opinions or comments about themselves.
Have a clear purpose. Confident people will know what their life goals are. People like this have a clear reason when doing something and they know what kind of outcome they expect.
Always think positive. Confident people are also accustomed to seeing life on the positive side. They always hope to get the best (good) results.
2. Confidence born
This type of confidence allows one to show off to the outside world if they are a confident person. To do so, the individual needs to have four types of skills, namely communication skills, firmness, self-appearance, and feeling control.
1. The strength of others as an opportunity to your self-development
When you see the power of others, you get used to giving a reaction like, "Wow! Public speaking skills are better than my ability. "Without you knowing, you often compare the power of someone with the weakness you have. Giving these reactions over and over again than actually train your brain to work with such patterns, until you slowly start not realizing the other abilities you have.
Let's value this condition from another point of view. Calm your mind and set your emotions every time this moment comes. Rather than looking at it from the opposite side, it would be better if you see it as an opportunity that you should further develop yourself on the ability.
2. Take advantage of your uncomfortable feelings
Analyzing feelings of discomfort may be unpleasant, but be aware of the times when you feel uncomfortable to know the cause, without you realizing it can increase your confidence level. By organizing your thoughts, feelings, and actions when you feel the discomfort, you can identify the cause of your unbelief. You can start a quest for this cause with some questions like:
When do you know you've done a good job?
What to do so that you feel appreciated, loved, and happy?
Do conditions like some of the above questions ever happen in your life?
3. Don’t shape your feelings based on how you are treated
Caring for what others think of you is good, but it can end badly when you judge yourself from the minds of these people. In dealing with this condition, you can first instill in yourself if you have indeed given the best attitude in treating others and make sure your goals are good when treating them. The rest is their right and beyond your responsibility. So it is not an obligation for you to think about especially worrying.
After that, whenever you begin to feel uncomfortable with another's judgment of yourself, cultivate in you that no one knows you better than yourself.
Once you know what triggers your self-esteem, even how you should train your brain to be confident and react to all those triggers, do not forget to smile! This simple action can also trigger your confidence and maybe even others who see it.
1. Smile
Smiling is the 1-second tip if you feel nervous and not confident. You don’t just smile if you feel happy and confident, otherwise, you can smile to make yourself feel better. Smiling is closely related to positive feelings, making it almost impossible for you to feel uncomfortable when you smile.
Smiling is showing more than just the expression on your face. Smiling releases endorphin hormones that make you feel better, improves blood circulation in your face, makes you feel good about yourself and certainly can boost your confidence. You will also appear more confident in front of others when you smile.
2. Look Forward to Your Interlocutor
Like smiling, look into everyone's eyes in the room. Give your smile and they will surely respond to your smile, and the smile given by others can boost your confidence quickly. Just like with a smile, eye contact indicates that you are confident. Gazing at your shoes or table encourages your feelings to be hesitant and embarrassed. These tips are very useful for work situations; make eye contact with the person who was interviewing you, or the people who attended your presentation.
"Eye contact helps you to eliminate fear if you are speaking in public and bring you closer to the other person. Stress is a feeling that comes from something foreign and cannot be controlled. Eye contact gives the speaker an idea of reality that is none other than the other person. Eye contact also helps to attract the interest of the other person. "(Confident Eye Contact, Unlimited Confidence)
3. Change Your Sound
Most of us have an inner voice that says we are stupid, inadequate, too fat, thin, noisy, quiet, etc. The ability to change your inner voice is the key to gaining confidence from within. Make your inner voice a support friend who knows you best and knows your talents, and wants you to achieve the best.
4. Forget the Others Standards
Regardless of the situation that makes you experience a confident crisis, you can help yourself by sticking to the standards you have. Others have different values with you, and no matter how hard you try, you can never satisfy everyone at all times. Do not worry if people call you fat, thin, lazy, boring, stingy, silly, etc., Stand by the standards you have, not the standards that others have. Remember that the values and standards generally differ in society; you do not have to accept those values and standards just because the people around you accept them.
5. Look Neat
Even if you only have a little time, go to the bathroom to make sure you look neat. Comb your hair, wash your face, fix your makeup, straighten your collar, makes sure there is no food left in your teeth. All of these things can make the difference between confidence in your appearance and your fear of your appearance.
"Improve your physical appearance; it is a fact that one's appearance plays an important role in building self-esteem. Although we know what we have in us that is important, your physical appearance determines the person's impression of you. "(Building Blocks to Self-Confidence, Complete Wellbeing)
6. Pray or Meditate for a moment
If you believe in the Almighty, saying a prayer can increase your confidence (you can also do meditation other than praying). This step helps you to retreat momentarily from the fast-paced situation and seek help from the Almighty. Here is an example of prayer, but you can write something similar to your religion or belief:
"My God, I say thank you for loving me and accepting me. Help me to do the same thing .. And help me to grow up to be according to your will so that my confidence will increase; all for the glory of your name and not my name. Thank you for listening and answering my prayer. Amen. "(Daily Encounter, Strengthen Your Self-Confidence, Acts International)
7. Rearrange
If something happens beyond your expectations, it's pretty easy to shake your confidence. Maybe you spilled your drink, was late in an important meeting because of a traffic jam, or someone you want to talk to give a cold response. Try to "rearrange" the situation and place it in a more positive situation. Often an event becomes negative because of our own perception.
8. Determine Your Next Step
If you are not sure what to do, find one simple step that will help you to move forward. This may be done by making eye contact at a party, introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or asking the person who is interviewing you to show your knowledge of the industry and their company.
Start acting even if you do not have a clear picture of what you should be doing. Move towards your goal. Correct yourself in other chance.
9. Speak Slowly
A simple tip to make you look or become more confident is to speak slowly. If you talk too fast, you will feel bad because you realize you are talking too fast. Talk slowly gives you a chance to think about what you will say next. If you're talking or doing a presentation, stop for a moment at the end of a phrase or sentence to help others digest what you say.
Speaking slowly shows one's confidence. A person who feels unworthy of being heard will speak quickly because they do not want to make others wait for things that are not worth listening to.
10. Take Part
Have you ever sat all day in the classroom or in a meeting without saying a word? Have you ever gone out with your friends in the evenings where your friends talk happily while you just sit and stare at your drink? The odds are that you feel less confident at the moment - and you may feel even more uncomfortable after that night. Whatever your situation, try to take part. Although you feel that there is not much you can say, your thoughts and perspectives are very valuable to those around you.
By trying to speak at least once in each group discussion, you will become a better speaker, more confident in expressing your thoughts, and being known as a leader by your peers.
Confidence is one of the most important aspects of personality in human life. Confident people believe in their own abilities and have realistic expectations, even when their expectations do not materialize they remain positive-minded and can accept it.
Confidence can be interpreted as a belief in self-sufficiency that is adequate and realizes the ability possessed can be utilized appropriately. Psychologist W. H.Miskell in 1939 has defined the meaning of confidence in his book "Self-confidence is the belief in self-sufficiency that is adequate and aware of the ability possessed, and can utilize it appropriately." No other than the famous Maslow ultra-psychologist who said that "Self-confidence is the basic capital for the development of the self-actuality.
Confidence comes from the Latin fidere which means to believe. In other words, self-confidence is the ability to trust your own ability, so dare to take on a challenge, be able to handle difficult situations to be responsible for the decisions you have taken. In short, confidence is what you feel and think about yourself.
Having a low self-confidence can trigger the emergence of shy characters, anxiety while socializing to other impacts that may be able to affect your relationship with social life and your career development. Low self-esteem can even increase your risk of mental health disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder.
The pattern of brain activity is able to provide a picture of one's confidence. In other words, manipulating certain brain activities can increase the level of confidence you have.
Research conducted by Doctor Aurelio Cortese uses a process known as a combination of artificial intelligence with brain scanning technology or decoded neurofeedback, to 17 participants. Where each participant is able to increase the level of confidence in those detected in the brain scanner, researchers will overwrite the memory of the moment by giving a gift or something positive.
Types of Confidence
In general, there are several types of self-confidence you need to know:1. Self-concept
The definition of self-concept is about how you judge or summarize yourself as a whole, such as how you portray yourself, or you conceive yourself as a whole.
2. Self-esteem
Self-esteem is about how far you have positive feelings for yourself. Do you feel something positive coming from yourself or not.
3. Self-efficacy
Self-efficacy is about the extent to which you are confident in doing a particular task or problem. Self-efficacy can also be defined as the extent to which your ability to handle certain problems.
4. Self-confidence
Self-confidence is about the extent to which you are confident about your judgment of your own ability and the extent to which you feel the rightness to be successful. Self-confidence is a combination of self-esteem and self-efficacy.
Meanwhile, according to Lindenfield (1997), confidence is divided into two types, namely inner confidence and self-confidence born.
1. Inner confidence
Inner confidence is a type of self-assurance assumes that the individual is in good condition. There are four main characteristics possessed by people who have inner confidence:
Loving their self. A confident person will love their self. They also care about their behavior and daily lifestyle.
Self-conscious. In addition to self-confidence, the person is also self-conscious. They not only reflect, but also think about their feelings, thoughts, and behavior on a regular basis. They are also curious and always want to know how other people's opinions or comments about themselves.
Have a clear purpose. Confident people will know what their life goals are. People like this have a clear reason when doing something and they know what kind of outcome they expect.
Always think positive. Confident people are also accustomed to seeing life on the positive side. They always hope to get the best (good) results.
2. Confidence born
This type of confidence allows one to show off to the outside world if they are a confident person. To do so, the individual needs to have four types of skills, namely communication skills, firmness, self-appearance, and feeling control.
How to train the brain to be confident?
But actually, without the need for a brain scanner or overwriting with a positive memory like the above research, you can train your brain to be self-assured. Here are some tips are given by a self-performance consultant, Graham Young:1. The strength of others as an opportunity to your self-development
When you see the power of others, you get used to giving a reaction like, "Wow! Public speaking skills are better than my ability. "Without you knowing, you often compare the power of someone with the weakness you have. Giving these reactions over and over again than actually train your brain to work with such patterns, until you slowly start not realizing the other abilities you have.
Let's value this condition from another point of view. Calm your mind and set your emotions every time this moment comes. Rather than looking at it from the opposite side, it would be better if you see it as an opportunity that you should further develop yourself on the ability.
2. Take advantage of your uncomfortable feelings
Analyzing feelings of discomfort may be unpleasant, but be aware of the times when you feel uncomfortable to know the cause, without you realizing it can increase your confidence level. By organizing your thoughts, feelings, and actions when you feel the discomfort, you can identify the cause of your unbelief. You can start a quest for this cause with some questions like:
When do you know you've done a good job?
What to do so that you feel appreciated, loved, and happy?
Do conditions like some of the above questions ever happen in your life?
3. Don’t shape your feelings based on how you are treated
Caring for what others think of you is good, but it can end badly when you judge yourself from the minds of these people. In dealing with this condition, you can first instill in yourself if you have indeed given the best attitude in treating others and make sure your goals are good when treating them. The rest is their right and beyond your responsibility. So it is not an obligation for you to think about especially worrying.
After that, whenever you begin to feel uncomfortable with another's judgment of yourself, cultivate in you that no one knows you better than yourself.
Once you know what triggers your self-esteem, even how you should train your brain to be confident and react to all those triggers, do not forget to smile! This simple action can also trigger your confidence and maybe even others who see it.
Instant ways to Increase self-confidence
1. Smile
Smiling is the 1-second tip if you feel nervous and not confident. You don’t just smile if you feel happy and confident, otherwise, you can smile to make yourself feel better. Smiling is closely related to positive feelings, making it almost impossible for you to feel uncomfortable when you smile.
Smiling is showing more than just the expression on your face. Smiling releases endorphin hormones that make you feel better, improves blood circulation in your face, makes you feel good about yourself and certainly can boost your confidence. You will also appear more confident in front of others when you smile.
2. Look Forward to Your Interlocutor
Like smiling, look into everyone's eyes in the room. Give your smile and they will surely respond to your smile, and the smile given by others can boost your confidence quickly. Just like with a smile, eye contact indicates that you are confident. Gazing at your shoes or table encourages your feelings to be hesitant and embarrassed. These tips are very useful for work situations; make eye contact with the person who was interviewing you, or the people who attended your presentation.
"Eye contact helps you to eliminate fear if you are speaking in public and bring you closer to the other person. Stress is a feeling that comes from something foreign and cannot be controlled. Eye contact gives the speaker an idea of reality that is none other than the other person. Eye contact also helps to attract the interest of the other person. "(Confident Eye Contact, Unlimited Confidence)
3. Change Your Sound
Most of us have an inner voice that says we are stupid, inadequate, too fat, thin, noisy, quiet, etc. The ability to change your inner voice is the key to gaining confidence from within. Make your inner voice a support friend who knows you best and knows your talents, and wants you to achieve the best.
4. Forget the Others Standards
Regardless of the situation that makes you experience a confident crisis, you can help yourself by sticking to the standards you have. Others have different values with you, and no matter how hard you try, you can never satisfy everyone at all times. Do not worry if people call you fat, thin, lazy, boring, stingy, silly, etc., Stand by the standards you have, not the standards that others have. Remember that the values and standards generally differ in society; you do not have to accept those values and standards just because the people around you accept them.
5. Look Neat
Even if you only have a little time, go to the bathroom to make sure you look neat. Comb your hair, wash your face, fix your makeup, straighten your collar, makes sure there is no food left in your teeth. All of these things can make the difference between confidence in your appearance and your fear of your appearance.
"Improve your physical appearance; it is a fact that one's appearance plays an important role in building self-esteem. Although we know what we have in us that is important, your physical appearance determines the person's impression of you. "(Building Blocks to Self-Confidence, Complete Wellbeing)
6. Pray or Meditate for a moment
If you believe in the Almighty, saying a prayer can increase your confidence (you can also do meditation other than praying). This step helps you to retreat momentarily from the fast-paced situation and seek help from the Almighty. Here is an example of prayer, but you can write something similar to your religion or belief:
"My God, I say thank you for loving me and accepting me. Help me to do the same thing .. And help me to grow up to be according to your will so that my confidence will increase; all for the glory of your name and not my name. Thank you for listening and answering my prayer. Amen. "(Daily Encounter, Strengthen Your Self-Confidence, Acts International)
7. Rearrange
If something happens beyond your expectations, it's pretty easy to shake your confidence. Maybe you spilled your drink, was late in an important meeting because of a traffic jam, or someone you want to talk to give a cold response. Try to "rearrange" the situation and place it in a more positive situation. Often an event becomes negative because of our own perception.
8. Determine Your Next Step
If you are not sure what to do, find one simple step that will help you to move forward. This may be done by making eye contact at a party, introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or asking the person who is interviewing you to show your knowledge of the industry and their company.
Start acting even if you do not have a clear picture of what you should be doing. Move towards your goal. Correct yourself in other chance.
9. Speak Slowly
A simple tip to make you look or become more confident is to speak slowly. If you talk too fast, you will feel bad because you realize you are talking too fast. Talk slowly gives you a chance to think about what you will say next. If you're talking or doing a presentation, stop for a moment at the end of a phrase or sentence to help others digest what you say.
Speaking slowly shows one's confidence. A person who feels unworthy of being heard will speak quickly because they do not want to make others wait for things that are not worth listening to.
10. Take Part
Have you ever sat all day in the classroom or in a meeting without saying a word? Have you ever gone out with your friends in the evenings where your friends talk happily while you just sit and stare at your drink? The odds are that you feel less confident at the moment - and you may feel even more uncomfortable after that night. Whatever your situation, try to take part. Although you feel that there is not much you can say, your thoughts and perspectives are very valuable to those around you.
By trying to speak at least once in each group discussion, you will become a better speaker, more confident in expressing your thoughts, and being known as a leader by your peers.