Friday, March 9, 2018
The marriage is a perfect dream for most people. "For
anyone who marries his own choice, whatever the story behind it, there must be loved
there," said Anggia Chrisanti, counselor and therapist from the Westaria
Psychology Consultation Bureau.
"Moreover, the previous through the process of
courtship, must marriage when it became the highest ideals of their love
journey, complete with all the shadows and hopes of happiness," she said.
When the expectations don’t match reality, it must be very
painful. Feelings of destruction, helplessness, no longer trusting anyone, and
others are very likely to haunt themselves. Because, in a divorce, although
caused by a third person, the choice of separation is still a difficult thing,
especially if there has been a result of marriage.
"If you can repeat and improve from the beginning,
surely couples who are faced with the divorce process will choose that path, in
order not to happen divorce later on," said Anggia.
According to Anggia, any problems that occur in a marriage
almost certainly affect 85 percent of emotions, especially negative ones, such
as sadness, fear, anger, shame, disappointment, hurt, and resentment. Uniquely,
feeling negative emotions to others (eg spouse) was much easier to heal than to
feel emotion for yourself.
"Disappointed with self, angry with self, embarrassment
or self-resentment, or even feel sorry for marriage decisions," she said.
It can also regret coming over the choices during this time
to solve the problem of the wrong household. It is instead of getting better,
even deeper into the pit of destruction, trauma.
"Unfortunately, some people don’t dare to be honest,
even to their self. Most even choose to thicken the mask to all look and feel
okay, "said Anggia. "Believe me, if it is done, it will only make yourself
worse off."